Bitter Sweet

Hi ho Hi ho It's off to work I go! My time at home with Ryiah has come to an end. I was so fortunate to be able to stay at home with her for 2 1/2 years. I never saw myself as a mother, let alone a stay at home mom, but the second I held Ryiah for the first time I knew there was no way I wanted to go back to work! What a sweet little angel I have been blessed to be the mother to. She has made my life brighter and I am so grateful for that. Although I loved being home with her more than anything, working again has been a breath of fresh air. I almost forgot what it was like to be in society speaking to other adults on a regular basis. I am working for a company called Service Repair Solutions. Under this head company is 3-4 other companies. I am the administrative assistant to them all. I run the front desk (phones, guests, mail, Fed Ex,) as well as doing projects for whoever needs them done. I truly enjoy the people I am surrounded by and genuinely like what I'm doing. If there is a downfall to position, it would be that it is a 30 mile drive one way! That means extra time away from Ryiah. I end up being gone from 7am to 6pm. The break away is great, but I miss her and wish circumstances were different.
She is dealing with it pretty well. The mornings are hard. I practically have to pry her from the death grip she has around me and leave her with the sitter while she is crying out to me. This is rough. The sitter tells me that Ry only cries for a couple minutes and then is perfect the rest of the time. That's a relief. After work I rush home to Ryiah and throw my arms out to receive a warm lovin' hug and....I usually get a "Hi mom, I'm playing". Makes me wonder if I should really feel bad through the day! Maybe I SHOULD accept invites to go hang out after work! Haha! Nah, I miss her whether she seems to or not at the end of the day!

This is a positive situation for me. I completely accept that this is my life (single, working mom) and I'm glad that things are falling into place. It feels so good to gain some of my independence back! It's going to take some time to get completely back on my feet, but I'm getting there.

I'm so grateful for the support of my family and my close friends. They help in more ways than they realize and I know I'd be in a world of hurt without them. I'm in a good place with myself and I know that everything I have been through has been for the soul purpose of personal growth. I know more about who I am as an individual and what I want out of life and the circle of people I want around me. I'm actually happy for my trials and the patience and lessons I learn because of them. I'm thankful that I am the kind of person who takes things as they come and just figure it out as I go. I don't see things black or white, but usually I'm in the gray. I can always see both sides of the fence and I think that helps me get through tough times. I feel lucky to be me, no matter what the circumstance may be.